Just What is Love Anyway?

Love

It is at the heart of the two primary commands of the Bible.

Love God…….Love man.

It is what God wants from you…….more than anything else.

It is the central reason for God’s creation……….of you.

Without question…….love is the most important thing in the universe.

The success of our lives…….the success of my life……..depends on love.

But……just what is love anyway?

Love, happiness, and satisfaction are linked. They are not the same. Love is the road that takes you to happiness. Happiness leads to satisfaction.

So here it is……….the secret of living a full, happy, and satisfied life.

Love

The heart of love is subordination……..the idea…….the act……..of putting another ahead of yourself. Think of the cross. I would go so far as to say that if you are unable to put the needs of someone else ahead of your needs……..then you are incapable of love. This is not an all or none deal. As we go through our day, we spend some of our energy meeting our own needs and we spend some of our energy meeting the needs of others. Love is a continuum. At one end is the sociopath…….the guy who serves his own needs with no consideration at any time for how his actions affect others. At the other end is the pure benefactor…….the woman who pours out her life taking care of others. Jeffrey Dahmer……..Mother Teresa. The rest of us fall somewhere in between.

The key to the success of your life…….is where you fall on that continuum. What percentage of your daily effort do you expend on caring for others……….what percentage of your daily effort do you spend gratifying your own desires?

Consider the woman with an unplanned……..unwanted pregnancy. In spite of the supreme court, she has two choices………she can gratify her desire to live as she pleases………or she can subordinate herself……..to her child. I propose that only one of these paths is the path of love. Only one of these paths leads to lasting joy.

There is an irony here that has to do with the linkage between love and happiness.

Love creates happiness.

Love creates satisfaction.

The closer you are to the “self serving” end of the continuum……the less happy you will be. The closer you are to the “service to others” end of the continuum…..the happier you will be.

It is just that simple.

Every day, you see people frantically working to satisfy their own appetites. The more that they have……the more that they want. But, it is never enough. Consider the CEO who has 4 houses, 6 cars, and a private jet………and who is negotiating for a raise. And while they seem to be having fun…..while they may have stuff………while they may be secure…….they are not happy…….they are not satisfied.

Every day you see people who radiate happiness. They may or may not have much in the way of stuff. But, they are happy………satisfied.

The key to understanding this conundrum is love. This should not be surprising. We were created by God for one reason…….to love. You can have a satisfying life without being loved……….but, you cannot have a satisfying life without loving.

You cannot lead a happy, satisfying life without loving.

To try to live your life without loving others………without subordinating yourself to others…….without serving others…….is to forgo happiness. It is a decision to trade happiness for feeding your appetites………to trade happiness for stuff and experiences.

It won’t work.

I believe that the central reality of paradise…….will be love. In paradise, we will spend our effort loving and serving others……loving and serving God.

And it will be fabulous………and we will be both happy and satisfied.

You might as well get used to it now.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Jesus, ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong doing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

Paul, ESV

And in the end…….the love you take…….is equal…….to the love you make.

John Lennon

There is no misery in not being loved,
only in not loving

Rod McKuen