It’s true.
I’m in charge……….to an extent……..and there’s the rub.
We spend a big part of our day trying to make a change. Today I’m talking about changing people……..influencing them. We like to believe that we have the power to influence others. As a matter of fact…….in my blog I hope to influence you to grow closer to Christ…..and in the process to be more effective in your life.
So……do we have the power to influence others?
Well…….it depends.
It depends on who and when.
You have a little influence on what others will do in the future.
You have slightly more influence on what others are doing now.
You have absolutely no influence on what others did in the past.
You have great influence on what you will do in the future.
You have great influence on what you are doing now.
You have absolutely no influence on what you have done in the past.
So……the order of the effectiveness of your influence is this:
What I am doing now.
What I will do in the future.
What others are doing now.
What others will do in the future.
What I did in the past.
What others did in the past.
In summary:
You are most effective in changing…..influencing ……..yourself.
Your efforts to influence others are severely limited.
Any attempts to influence the past are utterly futile.
We mess this up all of the time. We spend enormous amount of energy trying to change what others are doing and what they will do (just watch Fox and CNN)…….even though experience teaches us that we are not very effective at this. We suffer a lot of pain by ruminating over things that we have done in the past. We cause a lot of pain by punishing others for things that they have done in the past.
And………we ignore the changes that we can make to improve ourselves both today and in the future.
Why?…….it’s pretty simple……… it’s a lot more fun to beat the other guy up…….or to try to shove him into some pigeonhole…….than it is to do the hard work of changing ourselves……..the hard work of growing.
It’s a lot easier to pity yourself for the hole that your past has put you in……….than it is to climb out of it.
There are a few vital lessons that we can take from these facts.
Don’t beat yourself up for past mistakes….. there are no redos……..learn from them and move on.
Don’t try to punish others for things that they did in the past…….let them learn and move on.
It’s OK to try to influence others…….but be gentle. Be certain that you are motivated by love………and don’t get upset if they ignore you…….because that’s usually what they will do.
Finally, and most importantly, you should focus 90% of your energy on changing what you are doing and on what you will do…… because, when push comes to shove, that is all you can really control.
Work to build yourself into a better person…….today. You can find guidelines in the owners manual……the Bible. (Even if you don’t believe in God……..the guidelines are still very good.)
Plan for your future………and remember that your future doesn’t end in 30 years or so when you die. Like it or not……..your future is eternal………in spite of science, in your heart, you know this to be true.
And you get to choose what it will look like.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Paul, NIV