My wife and I raised 3 boys. They were a little “rough”. She often said to me, “rules without relationship lead to rebellion”. I was pretty good on rules…….maybe 8 out of 10……..relationship…….not so much……..maybe 4 out of 10. And we reaped a bit of rebellion. If you are beginning a family, you should write this down and read it every day. This is one of the great truths of parenting.

It is also one of the great rules of human nature…….and of the Bible.

God’s idea…….his plan A……..was the garden of Eden. It was a place of perfection. In Eden, God and man lived together in a close relationship……..they talked face to face regularly. They walked together. Relationship was the key to Eden. Rules were secondary. In fact, there were only three: tend the garden, name the animals, and don’t eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then along came the serpent. He, Eve, and Adam wrecked it all. God ended Eden and moved on.

God’s plan B……..was an endless list of rules many of which did not…….and still don’t make sense to us. I suspect that they were never intended to. God spoke to Moses……a lot……and to many prophets a little. But, as far as the ordinary man was concerned…….not so much. God lived in the inner room of the temple which only the high priest could enter. In the post Eden Old Testament, rules were the emphasis……..relationship was a minor bit player. And the Jewish people failed over and over. They were punished over and over. To say that the rules didn’t work would be an historic understatement.

And then came Jesus.

For three years mankind experienced the most intimate relationship with God that we had ever known. He taught us, walked with us, ate with us……..even washed our feet. And then he left. After his death he was replaced by the holy spirit. And that is where we are today. The holy spirit is quieter than Jesus was during his three year ministry and less immediate than God was in Eden. The holy spirit is easy to ignore……easy to dismiss. We have to study and seek the holy spirit. We have to pursue it…….we have to reach out. Many of us don’t even try.

Here’s the thing. God’s blessings come with relationship. God’s withdrawal………even punishment follows rebellion. The best times in human history correspond to the times of relationship. On the flip side, during times of little relationship, as a culture, we always slip into rebellion. And we suffer the consequences. Looking at our culture during my lifetime……I can see the truth of this.

So…….what is the lesson?

We must study and seek the holy spirit. We must build a relationship with God the Father, Jesus the son, and also with the holy spirit. If we can do so individually and also as a culture, we can avoid rebellion and tap into God’s blessing.

Unfortunately, our culture has other ideas. The facts show that we are slipping away from relationship and drifting into rebellion. This will ultimately lead to the withdrawal of God’s blessing……..and the introduction of his punishment.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

Jesus, Revelation 3:20, ESV

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Jesus, John 15:5, ESV

He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

John 1:10-13, ESV

if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

God, 2 Chronicles, 7:14, ESV

We tend to think of life as an ongoing conflict between good and evil. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. There are three, not two, entities involved: Good….evil……and free will.

Good and evil are clearly defined in the “owners manual”. They are also internal…….they are “written on our hearts”. In general terms, good increases love and evil decreases love. Furthermore, you and I have no say in the matter. Good and evil exist…….and they are completely independent of us……..they are completely independent of our appetites and desires. They are also universal. What is good for me…….is good for you……and for the stranger down the block.

So far so good.

The problem arises when we stir in the third variable…..free will. Free will means that we get to choose between good and evil……every minute of every day. We are not forced to be good. We are not forced to love. But we are expected to be good……to love…….by our creator. When we freely choose good…..love…..we honor our creator. When we freely choose evil we dishonor our creator.

It’s still pretty simple and straightforward.

So…….when was the last time you got out of bed, planned your day and said to yourself…….”Today…..I’m going to be evil”? Probably never. That’s just not the way we operate. In practice, we look at the world, we work through our list of appetites……the things we want to have and do…….then we pursue one or more of our appetites. We often, completely fail to ask, “is this good or evil?”. We often fail to ask, “does this increase or decrease love?”.

And it gets worse.

When we are backed into a corner…..when we are forced to pigeonhole something as good or evil…..when we really want something that is wrong, evil……..we have another trick. We simply redefine the act as good:

We redefine aborting our child as an exercise in reproductive rights.

We redefine gun ownership as an exercise of our 2nd amendment……even though we may someday use the gun to kill.

We redefine our sex to give our appetites precedence over our anatomy.

The snake tells Eve that eating the forbidden apple will make her wise…….that it will make her like God.

But here’s the thing.

In spite of our manipulations……..good and evil do not change. The expectations of our creator do not change.
We can define things, including ourselves, however we wish. This is the glory of free will. But, ultimately, we will be measured against God’s definition of good and evil. And that is the curse of free will.

And we will fall short…….every last one of us.

But there is hope. Because God’s final judgement will be based on one thing:

Did you recognize God…….did you honor God……..did you love God……..did you obey God?

God cares about love. Mankind cares about free will.

Free will reigns in our world.

Love reigns in God’s world.

Choose.

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Genesis 3:2-5, ESV

“Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.”

Jesus, Matthew 19:17, ESV

About 20 years ago, I planted some apple trees. This was part of a long range contingency plan for the day when the local grocery closed…….for good. I cared for the trees and waited for my apples. After 5 years, I had one apple to show for my efforts. I gave up. Fast forward 15 years. Today I got out the chain saw and went down the hill to cut the apple trees down for firewood. One of them produced one sad little apple……..probably motivated by guilt or, perhaps, sheer terror. So, I made a deal…….with the apple tree. I will give you the care you need for 2 years. If you produce apples…..we’re OK. Otherwise, I’m going back to plan A and the chain saw. Very sensible, even Biblical.

But, then it occurred to me. How many times over the last 70 years has God looked at me and asked, “Where is the fruit I was expecting?” How many times has God considered tossing me into the woodpile and focusing his effort on someone who is more likely to produce fruit. Probably a lot more than I know.

Make no mistake.

God has expectations…….of me…….of you.

We fail to meet those expectations regularly……..perhaps daily.

But, unlike me and my apple trees, God is patient. He will continue to care for us right up to the day we die. Right up to the day when we show him the fruit that we have produced……… the fruit that he was expecting.

I hope I don’t disappoint him.

“A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. And he said to the vinedresser, ‘Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?’ And he answered him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

Luke 13:6-10, ESV. A parable of Jesus

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Micah, 6:8, ESV

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

Jesus, John 15:12, ESV

“This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.”

Jesus, John 6:29, ESV

I’m a Christian

There are a lot of us out there. Some of us read the Bible…….many, perhaps most, don’t. We go to church and Sunday school. But, many of us give little thought to the foundations of our faith. This week I want to dig into the bare bones basics of Christianity. What does it mean to be a Christian…….what must you do to be a serious Christian? Some of you may find this a little uncomfortable. I know quite a few people who consider themselves to be Christian who have missed some of the crucial “pillars” of our faith. If I make you uncomfortable, please understand, I am not damning you…….that is way above my pay grade. Rather, I hope to encourage you to look a little deeper into your faith.

I want to explore two central “pillars” of Christianity:

The first and most important thing:

You must recognize and accept the divinity of Jesus as part of the trinity…….father, son, and spirit. We like to think of Jesus as a “nice guy”. We don’t typically think of him as the guy in charge of the destruction of this world as described in revelation. We are told to love God……..and that includes Jesus. But we are also told repeatedly……..to fear him.

Jesus is God and he has all of the characteristics of God:

Jesus has the unlimited capacity to create and destroy…….to reward and to punish.

Jesus is right……all of the time……in everything that he does and in everything that he allows to happen…….whether you or I approve or not.

Jesus is the definition of good…….even when you don’t understand what he us up to.

Jesus is the definition of right…….not you……not me.

Jesus loves you…..even when you mess up. But, he will hold you accountable.

Jesus is the guy who refused to condemn the promiscuous woman by the well…….but he is also the guy who smashed the money changers in the temple.

The second thing follows from the first:

You and I need to obey him and follow his teachings……because he is God……not you…..not me. This requires us to study his teachings……..all of them….we don’t get to pick and choose.

If you are a Christian…….you simply must study the Bible……..otherwise, you are a “poser”.

I know a lot a Christians who latch on to the warm and fuzzy teachings of Jesus, but who ignore or outright reject the harder teachings. They believe in paradise……but ignore or deny hell. They hear, “I have prepared a place for you”…….but don’t hear “I don’t know you”. I know a person who is a leader in her church…….a really good person who serves her community………but who has serious reservations about Jesus.

A good place to start to learn how to act like a Christian is to read the “words in red”. By studying both the warm and fuzzy side of Jesus and the harder side of Jesus, you will develop a more reverent perspective.

In paradise, I have no doubt that I will get a big hug from Jesus………I also have no doubt that I will bow down before him.

Because Jesus……..is a nice guy……….who is also God.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:1-5……Jesus as creator

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.

Revelation 1:17-18……..Jesus at the end of this world

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

Jesus, Mathew 7:21-23, ESV

This week’s post reverts to my childhood. I would be out in the yard…….probably digging a hole…….which seems to have gone for high entertainment on a hot summer Kentucky afternoon in 1962. I would make a statement and my buddy Sam would snap back…….”oh yeah!!…….prove it.” It is amazing how often this one line put an end to the argument. Because, the fact is that we say and believe lots of things………that we really cannot prove:

The universe is infinite.

Life began with lightning striking a puddle of dead molecules.

The universe began in an instant…..with a “big bang”.

All living things evolved from a single, primitive, one celled organism.

It is impossible to exceed the speed of light.

Given enough time, typwriters, and paper(a number approaching infinity)………a room full of monkeys can randomly type an encyclopedia.

It is intellectually honest to use an unreal idea……like infinity or numbers near it…….to analyze a real phenomenon like the human genome………or an encyclopedia.

The fact that we cannot see or measure something is adequate proof that it doesn’t exist.

Back to my opening proposition. Probably about half of mankind does not believe that Hell exists. I am talking about the place described in the Bible…….. a place of burning eternal pain. Many deny hell outright. Most just ignore it and go about life as though there were no consequences to our actions. We whistle as we walk past the cemetery. This is the practical application……….the functional equivalent of denying hell.

At this point, I need to clarify just what the Bible says will send you to hell. But; first, here is a list of things that will not send you to hell:

Not paying your bills.
Lying.
Cheating on your spouse.
Homosexuality.
Stealing.
Working on Sunday
Murder
Having an abortion

These things are wrong…….but in themselves they will not damn you. These things can be fixed…….if you act in time.

Here is what will send you to hell:

Denying that Jesus Christ is God.

This bears repeating:

Denying the divinity and the authority of Jesus will send you to hell.

So……..you say…….”the Bible and all of that religions rot is just a myth……….hell is no more real than Zeus and his flaming chariot. Jesus was just a nice guy.”

OK

Prove it.

And there is the rub……..because assessing the divinity of Jesus and the reality of an eternal burning hell is the single most important decision that you will make in your life. Fact is….it is the only important decision that you will make in your brief life.

Hell is either real…….or it is not. Jesus is either divine……or he was just another lunatic. And, like it or not…….you must choose. BTW…….it’s a package deal. If you accept the divinity of Jesus……you accept the reality of a burning hell……because Jesus believed in a burning hell. So……if you accept the divinity of Jesus and the reality of an eternal burning hell……no problem…….you’re covered. But, deny those two ideas and you are at grave risk of eternal suffering.

So, to pursue this line of logic…….. if you deny hell……..you need a bulletproof, logical, intellectually sound reason for your denial.

You need a reason that is so compelling……..that you would bet your life on it.

Because that is precisely what you are doing.

That reason…….that bulletproof explanation……. does not exist.

The poor man(Lazarus) died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried, and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’

Jesus describing hell, Luke 16: 22-24, ESV

And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Luke, Acts 4:12

because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Paul, Romans 10:9-10, ESV

Cindy and I designed our house from the ground up……Cindy more than me. We made some mistakes…….but, all in all, it has served us well. We and our sons have lived most of our lives in this house. There is a back hallway from the garage into the house. It is no surprise that this is how 95% of the people entering our house come in. There is even a plaque that says “back door guests are best”.

The layout of the house is open and expansive. The family room has a 25 foot cathedral ceiling and flows into the kitchen, breakfast room, foyer, and an open loft. The ceilings throughout the house are 9 feet. The only exception is the back hallway……the entrance hallway…….the first thing that you see. We specified 7 foot ceilings for the entrance hallway…..and for all of the rooms on that hallway. It is tight……almost claustrophobic. It is a place that you only go into when you have a job to do……like the laundry.

What……you may ask…..were we thinking?

The cramped entrance hallway opens into the large family room. The transition is stunning. The tiny hall makes the open spaces beyond it even bigger……and more inviting. Nobody “hangs out” in the back hallway…….ever. The back hall is just a place that you pass through to get to the nice places beyond. The claustrophobic back hallway sets up a contrast. It makes the open spaces beyond even more striking.

So…….back to old age. Cindy and I are in our 70’s. And, if you haven’t figured it out yet, we have been truly blessed.
But, what is old age about?

Pain…….just about everything hurts……especially in the morning.

Cancer

Heart disease

Liver disease

Osteoporosis

Dizziness

Declining senses of smell, sight, and hearing.

We write a lot of stuff down.

We often say, “I wish I knew what I know now but had the body I had in my 20”s”.

But, maybe this is a part of God’s plan. Maybe the shrinking of my physical horizons is like the back hallway in my house. God promises that when I die, the list of problems…….complaints…….that I just wrote down will go away…….forever. Maybe my temporary discomfort today is there to contrast with the physical joy of paradise. Maybe, my morning stiffness is like walking through my back hallway……..on my way to the family room.

From now on, this will be my meditation……..when I am dealing with the aggravations of old age. God is just getting me mentally and emotionally prepared……..for paradise.

Old age…….is just a place that you must go through……to get to the really nice place beyond.

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

David, Psalms18:19, ESV

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

Paul, 2 Corinthians 4:16, ESV

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Paul, Phillipines 1:6, ESV

“Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb; even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.

God, Isaiah 46:3-4, ESV

In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

Jesus, John 14:2-3, ESV

I recently spent some time on right vs.wrong. I want to expand on that a bit. I think that our culture has lost its mooring to these two key principles. When I was a kid, we had a small black and white TV. Sometimes it worked. We had 3 channels and they went off the air at midnight. There were very few choices as to what to watch. But, the shows that we had were qualitative different from TV today. There were good guys and bad guys. The good guys were good…….all of the time. The bad guys were bad……..all of the time. In a word, our public media taught us about good and bad every day. Characters like Matt Dillon, Ben Cartwright, Mike Nelson, Mr. Rodgers, and Magnum, PI modeled right behaviour for us……..and we absorbed it. These were our role models. There were organizations that explicitly taught right behaviour……like the Boy Scouts.

But, over the years, these ideals……..these ideal role models have come to be seen as “one dimensional”, “niave”, “childish”, “uninteresting”. The good guys in our public media have been replaced by much more complicated characters. Some would say more realistic, more interesting………more like us. Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Jason Bourne, Brian Mills(played by Liam Neeson in “Taken”) are all modern good guys. They are all complex characters that model some aspects of right but also some aspects of wrong. But, when they do something wrong, at least it is justified in the pursuit of a “greater good”. But, sometimes they do wrong…….just to show us that it isn’t really that “wrong” after all.

What the media is teaching us is that the wrong that we do every day……..is justifiable, is common, is an effective problem solving tool. In a word, our media is teaching that you can do things that are wrong…….and still be a good guy. The trouble is that the list of acceptable “wrongs” grows every day. It has even become rude to point out wrong when we see it. We call this tolerance.

Walking into a store, filling a garbage bag with merchandise and walking out………not a crime.

Voting under a false identity………tolerated.

Dumping trash and toxic waste along our roads and waterways……common.

Killing your child as an exercise in reproductive rights.

Charging $100 for a $1 pill.

Wrecking a city……or our capitol……as a valid form of “free speech”.

Let me be clear…….these things are wrong.

But the list grows every day. What was clearly wrong yesterday is acceptable today. The pan of water that we are sitting in keeps slowly getting hotter. I can’t imaging what will be acceptable tomorrow.

So we are working against a strong societal headwind when we pursue “right” in the public arena. If you want to be ostracised, tell someone that what they are doing is wrong. But, we must. There are so many voices telling our young people that they can do as they please. And every time that these voices sell another “wrong” as “tolerable” they prepare the way for an even more wrong idea tomorrow. We need voices speaking out for “right”.

Where to begin?

The first thing we must do is to be sure that we have rooted out the wrong ideas that we have already come to accept. So here are a few tests:

Is it true, kind, and helpful?

Does it help me…..but hurt someone else?

Will I be able to look Jesus in the eye when I try to justify it?

When we fully understand and commit to “right and wrong”…….we will be in a much better position to “sell” these “old fashioned” ideals to a culture that has lost its footing.

On my honor, I will do my best, to do my duty to God and my country, and to obey the scout law, to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.

Boy Scout Oath

A Scout is:

Trustworthy,
Loyal,
Helpful,
Friendly,
Courteous,
Kind,
Obedient,
Cheerful,
Thrifty,
Brave,
Clean,
and Reverent.

Boy Scout Law

Love God……Love your neighbor

God’s Law

A great deal of the acrimony in our public conversation arises from our understanding…….our definition of right and wrong. Today I want to explore this idea.

Right/wrong is a concept that is an inescapable part of the human condition. It is part of our “operating system”……our “Read Only Memory”. In a word, it is written on our hearts. It is so essential, that the few people among us who operate without it are considered mentally ill…….sociopaths. And yet, for such an integral part of our being, we give right/wrong very little thought.

So what are the facts about right/wrong?

Right/wrong has an existence completely apart from us…….from our wants and needs, from our situation, from our desires and appetites. We serve right/wrong…..not the other way around.

Right/wrong does not change……..ever. It is not “a living document”.

Right/wrong is a concept that is universal because it is essential. It was put into us by our creator.

Right/wrong is just as critical to our function as our pancreas.

Right/wrong is not something that we created…….it is not something that we get to redefine…….it is not something that we get to fine tune to satisfy our current appetites.

Right/wrong is truth. It is the truth because it was put there by a higher authority…….our creator.

Right/wrong makes living in a society much smoother…….but that is not its primary function. Summary execution for traffic violations would make travel much more efficient…..but that would be wrong.

Right/wrong has a primary function that is much closer to home. Right/wrong is required for me to thrive. Right/wrong is required for you to thrive. That is why our creator gave it to us. Living your life outside of the confines of right/wrong causes untold suffering for you and for those around you. This suffering is not and never was a part of God’s plan for us.

There is a test that I try to use when I am getting ready to say or do something. This test, when I use it successfully, helps to bring my life more in line with right/wrong. This test is a key ingredient in living a full and satisfying life.

Three questions:

Is it true?

Is it kind?

Is it helpful?

Three yesses and it’s probably right.

One no and it’s probably wrong.

And that gets down to the meat of the problem. We are hard wired with the concept of right/wrong…….but we have free will……..we are not forced to adhere to right/wrong. We live in the most technologically advanced society that we have ever encountered. The list of things that are possible is exploding.

But…….right/wrong……. doesn’t change. For a growing segment of the world population, more consideration goes into the question, “what can we do?” than into the question, “is it right or wrong?” More and more our choices are driven by our appetites rather than our innate understanding of right/wrong.

I think we would come closer to thriving as human beings if we used the three questions as part of our daily decision making process.

I am convinced that the three questions will help bring us into harmony with the universal truth of right/wrong.

I am convinced that living my life in harmony with the concept of right/wrong is the key to thriving in a world that gets crazier by the day.

If only I can just pull it off.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Solomon, Proverbs, 14:12, ESV

For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

Paul, Romans 7:19, ESV

“You shall not do according to all that we are doing here today, everyone doing whatever is right in his own eyes,

Moses, Deuteronomy, 12:8, ESV

If you ask 100 parents what they want most for their children, 90 of them will say, “I just want them to be happy”. Most of what we do every day is aimed, directly or indirectly, at achieving happiness. So…..happiness is extremely important to us. Arguably, acheiving happiness is the greatest motivator in our lives.

What is odd, is that for something that we spend our entire lives pursuing, we really give happiness very little thought. Measured by how we pursue happiness, we really don’t even understand it.

So……what is happiness……..or, more to the point, how do we go about finding it? It is a bit more nuanced than you would think. It is not too hard to find someone who has acquired or done the things that we associate with happiness but who is unhappy. It is not too hard to find someone whose life has been stalked by tragedy but who is happy. I’m sure that we can both think of something that we have done…..or acquired that should have made us happy…… but didn’t.

I believe that there are three levels of happiness. We can pursue it on all three levels at the same time. But, more often, we begin at the simplest, most primitive level and then grow into more intense and satisfying levels of happiness……..at least some of us do. Unfortunately, a great many of us are so consumed with acheiving “entry level” happiness that we get stuck and never move on to greater happiness.

So…….entry level happiness:

This is the happiness of stuff and experiences. We identify some object or activity that looks appealing. We pursue it until we acquire it. Then we enjoy it……and we are happy. The trouble is that very quickly, the object/experience becomes normal…….and the happiness fades. We then choose another object/experience and pursue it. And we repeat this cycle over and over. The result is a series of waves of happiness interspersed with troughs of less than happiness. And some people spend their entire lives on that roller coaster. This is the guy who has a midlife crisis that the Corvette won’t fix. The best part of entry level happiness is that all we have to contribute……is money……and maybe some time. We don’t have to meet the needs of our stuff. We really don’t have to give anything of ourself.

Mid level happiness:

This is the happiness of relationships. We seek out like minded people and we become friends, husbands, and wives. This is far more demanding of us. In addition to money and time, we have to give a part of ourself to the other person. We have to take care of them. We have to meet their needs……in addition to meeting our own needs. The fact that this is much harder is evidenced by the fact the half of marriages end in divorce. Friendships don’t do much better. The beauty of the happiness of relationships is that, if we both pay our dues, we can enjoy a lifetime of happiness. A good marriage is the essence of this level of hapiness. The down side is that both of the people involved must contribute. Both people must make sacrifices. Both people must compromise. This also requires a degree of vulnerability.

Ultimate happiness:

This is the highest level of happiness…….the happiness of giving. It is a greater happiness than even a great marriage. But, the reality of it is that a really good marriage is suffused with the happiness of giving. This form of happiness is counterintuitive……..because it doesn’t require you to get anything back from the other person. If fact, the other person doesn’t even need to know that you made the gift. You give someone the gift of love, financial support, forgiveness, perhaps even your life. They may or may not reciprocate……or even respond. They may not even know. But, you will walk away happy.

The surest road to happiness……..is to love and care for another………even if they don’t reciprocate.

This is God level happiness…….Christ level happiness. This is the level of happiness that led Jesus to the cross……….to give us a priceless gift…….a gift that half of the people to whom it has been offered neither respond to, nor reciprocate, nor even acknowledge.

But, I can guarantee you this:

Jesus is happy.

‘There’s no misery in not being loved, only in not loving’

Rod McKuen

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus…..John, 15:13, ESV

Or, to put it another way, on the day when you die how many hours will you have enjoyed living. It’s not quite the same thing. Because each hour of your life is different. Some hours you live beautifully, happily, fully. Some hours……..you waste…… you simply throw them away. And it is a zero sum game. Because every hour that you throw away is subtracted from your lifetime. It turns out that how long you live is dependent on how well you live. In fact, after you subtract out the hours that you intentionally throw away, how well you live may very well be the greatest single determinant in how long you live.

Today, I want to explore the hours of our lives that we intentionally throw away. These are the hours, that on our death bed, have contributed nothing to our lives or the lives of those we love. These are the hours that could have been spent doing something that would have put a smile on our face……..as we are dying.

So what are these thrown away hours?

Any hour that you spend mad.

Many, if not most, of the hours that you spend staring at your cell phone (or other digital device).

A good test for any activity is this: ask yourself, “When I am dying, and my life passes before me, will this activity be on the video clip?”

Why do I say that these lost hours are subtracted from our lives? It hinges on purpose and on happiness. We were put here for 2 reasons: Love God. Love your fellow man. That is our purpose……..our only purpose. Any time that we are engaged in an activity that does not pursue those two goals, we are wasting time…….we are wasting life. Any time that we are engaged in an activity that does not pursue those two goals, we are not doing our only real job here. Any time that we are engaged in an activity that does not pursue those two goals, we are not happy……..because the only way to be truly happy……..is to do the thing that you were created for.

The corollary is this: You cannot be happy…… when you are mad. You cannot be happy with your face buried in your cell phone.

In a manner of speaking, when you are mad…….or glued to your “device du jour”……..you are not living…….because you are not doing what you were put here for.

So……..your life expectancy is about 78 years…..give or take. How many hours each day do you spend mad? It may hinge on how many hours you spend watching CNN or Fox……because keeping you mad is a multibillion dollar industry……2 hours a day?? How many hours a day do you spend doing something mindless on your cell phone?……4 hours a day?? Fill in your own numbers.

6 hours is about 1/3 of your waking day. That is about 26 years of your life expectancy. So…….if you are fairly typical……..your actual net life expectancy, after subtracting out the time that you intentionally throw away, is about 50 years.

Every now and then you will meet someone who is truly, deeply, foundationally happy. They are at peace. They are……..serene. What is the deal with these people? You are probably looking at someone who has drastically reduced the amount of their precious time that they are intentionally throwing away.

That is the person that I want to be…….. for the time that I have left.

I ain’t a-saying you treated me unkind
You could’ve done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

Bob Dylan

You shall walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live, and that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land that you shall possess.

Deuteronomy 5:23, ESV