Can I Buy You Lunch?

Many years ago a rift developed between me and my oldest adult son. We were very different people. We didn’t agree on much of anything. There were many reasons behind it and they really don’t matter at this point. The question of blame really doesn’t matter. We weren’t talking……we rarely met. He was living in an apartment somewhere. I remember one day driving down the street of a nearby town and seeing him walking down the street………on his way to something. I can’t remember if I stopped or not.

But, I hated the distance that had developed between us. I can’t speak for him, but I suspect that it bothered him too. I began looking for some basis to begin building a relationship…….some common ground. I went down the list of my interests. I went down the list of his interests. I literally couldn’t find anything.

Then it hit me. We did have at least one thing in common. We both ate lunch. That was about it.

So, I tracked him down. This was probably before cell phones……at least before he had one. The question was simple.

“Can I buy you lunch?”

It turned out to be cheese conies at a local chili joint. We sat. We ate. We made small talk. I probably dropped him off somewhere afterwards. It wasn’t a big thing……..and yet it was. We began meeting for lunch from time to time…….and that went on for the few remaining years of his life.

I’d like to tell you that we became close……that our opinions and our interests aligned. That we became pals. That we lived happily ever after.

It didn’t turn out that way.

But we did meet for lunch. We talked. We laughed. We told stories. We repaired some of the damage.

And that, in the final analysis, has been extremely valuable.

Maybe you don’t have a relationship like this one. If so, you are blessed. Enjoy it. But if you do, consider asking the simple question.

“Can I buy you lunch?”

The other guy will probably be confused. He may be angry. He could even lash out or just hang up. But, he just might surprise you. And, if he does surprise you, you will have an opportunity to repair a relationship.

Use it wisely.

And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

James, NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

Paul, NIV