There is a guy out there.

Every husband and every wife has run across him.

He is a composite of the best features of dozens of other men.

He has Brad Pitt’s smile.
He washes the car like Julie’s husband.
He is a great listener like Pam’s husband.
He bought a vacation home in Florida like Jean’s husband.
He never disappears into his office or the shop for hours.
He never hogs the remote.
He always puts the lid down.

You get the picture.

This composite “super husband” is what we mere mortal husbands are compared to every day……….and we come up short…….every day.

But marriage therapy is not what this post is about. You are going to have to sort that out for yourselves.

What this post is about………is expectations.

What do you expect of the Christians around you?

And more important……what do you expect of God?

I believe that unrealistic expectations have driven millions of people away from Christianity. I believe that unrealistic expectations will result in more people missing out on paradise than anything else…….with the exception of Darwinian Evolution.

What are these expectations?

Christians never get mad.
Christians never lie.
Christians are never judgemental.
Christians never act like they are better than you.
In a word………Christians are kind gentle Mr. Rogers types.

God would never allow anything bad to happen to me.
God’s answer to every prayer is “yes”.
God never gets angry.
God never gets sad.
God’s justice is flexible…….just like mine.
God’s mercy is unconditional.
God will find a place for me in paradise because “I’m a good person”.

Christians will rarely meet these expectations……and neither will God.

So what happens when Christians don’t live up to someone’s expectations?………or worse……when God doesn’t meet someone’s expectations?

The line that I hear often is, “I can’t accept a church……or a God…..that would _(fail to meet my expectations).”

The result is that people reject Christianity……. people reject God…….. because they have unrealistic expectations.

Here is the truth.

Christians are not fundamentally “better” than everybody else…..they are not fundamentally different from everybody else……. they are just forgiven. That’s all.

God does allow bad things to happen…..to you and to me……..and I can’t tell you why.

God sometimes answers prayers with “no”.

God gets angry…….and he gets sad. He is more like us than we realize.

God’s justice is absolutely inflexible.

God’s mercy is endless…….but it is not unconditional. There is a universal “get out of jail free” card…….but there is a price and that price is the critical point.

The price for God’s mercy is accepting and following Jesus.

Jesus voluntarily suffered an excruciating death to purchase God’s mercy………his forgiveness……….for you.

You cannot possibly expect to ignore that reality…….to ignore that sacrifice……….and then to avail yourself of his mercy.

Or you could just deny it……..say it’s all a big outdated myth.

Ignore it……deny it……..from God’s side it’s all the same.

The problem is that you could find yourself face to face with God………asking for a little slice of mercy……….and hear him say……..”but I don’t know you”.

You cannot earn a place in paradise.

But you can earn God’s mercy.

It’s easier than you could imagine.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life………Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.

Jesus, NIV

Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father, who sent him.  “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life.

Jesus, NIV

“Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.

Jesus, NIV

There can be no argument on this one.

There is a lot of suffering in this world.

There is a lot of broken stuff and there are a lot of broken people. There are angry broken people who harm themselves and others and there are innocent people who are broken due to illness, misfortune, and circumstances beyond their control.

In a word, our world is not the way it should be.

If God is all powerful and all knowing, then why is this world, his world, such a mess? In a lot of different ways, I hear people ask this question. When they don’t get the answer that they want, they often reject God.

So……how do we reconcile an all powerful, all knowing creator, God……….with a world that is such a mess…….a planet that is, in fact, dying right before our eyes?

There are several factors:

The first is that the world we live in and the culture that we live in are not anywhere close to what God had in mind. God created a sustainable ecosystem. He put us in it, gave us free will, and left us in charge. We rebelled and it has been downhill ever since. That story pretty much summarizes the old testament.

The second is that God hasn’t cleaned up our mess. He certainly could if he wanted to. Maybe he has lost interest. Maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe he figures that we deserve the mess we’ve made. Maybe this mess is our punishment. While those are possible explanations, I think that the real reason is more complex.

The real reason has to do with free will. Our free will is very important to God. God would prefer that we fix the mess ourselves. Most of the new testament deals with guidelines that would fix our world and our culture……….if we would only follow them.

The two central guidelines?

Love God and love your fellow man.

These guidelines are closely tied to free will. And that is where the trouble begins. Love is closely tied to free will. Love must be given freely without compulsion. Love that is forced by compulsion is not love at all. And what God wants from us……in fact, the only thing God wants from us……..is love. You cannot have love without free will……….and you cannot have free will without love.

So…….in order to get the only thing he wants……love…… God is stuck with our free will……and with the mess it has created on his planet and in our culture.

The irony here is that the suffering that we see every day is a direct result of the free will that God had to give us in order to get the only thing that he wants from us…….love.

God wants love.

Love requires free will.

Free will creates choice.

Choice can be good or bad.

Bad choices create suffering.

And that is the history of mankind in five lines.

That is why we are in the mess that we are in.

I have to believe that God has hope in love.

I have to believe that God is conflicted by our use and misuse of free will.

I have to believe that God is profoundly saddened by the suffering that we create.

Suffering, it turns out, is not the creation of God. The suffering that we see and experience every day……..is our own creation. It grows out of our misuse of God’s gift………….free will.

God is not indifferent to our suffering

God suffers with us.

 See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today;  the curse if you disobey the commands of the Lord your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known. 

Moses, NIV

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, 

Moses, NIV

My bible reading today is “The Magnificat”. It is the song/poem of a pregnant, unwed teenager living in a culture where pregnant unwed women could be stoned to death. She had been sent away from her family, probably to hide her pregnancy. The father is nowhere in sight.

Her response?

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name. His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation. He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts. He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.”

Mary, NIV

To really grasp the gravity of this, consider Mary’s situation from her perspective……..looking forward. If she even survived, she probably faced a life with no job, no family, no support, rejection by society…….and a hungry mouth to feed.

By any logical accounting, Mary’s situation was a disaster……..and it was about to get worse. It was quite possible that she would not even live through it…….if the legalists got their hands on her.

And yet, her reaction to this disaster is not dispair…….but, rather joy, thankfulness, and praise.

How can that be?

Looking back, the answer is simple. Mary knew something that nobody else knew………or at least something that they didn’t believe. Mary knew something…….that was simply impossible.

Mary was joyful because she believed with absolute certainty in something “impossible”.

And here is the moral:

Limiting yourself to believing only in what is “possible”, ultimately leads to dispair. The best possible case? You are going to die. And I’m not even going to mention the worst possible case.

Believing in the impossible leads to joy…….even in the face of disaster. Because……..there is a part of you that is supernatural.

There is a part of YOU that is impossible.

YOU are eternal.

We all have bad days…….. fairly often…….car accident, lost keys, missed appointment, late for work.

We also have disasters………loss of a job, illness, homelessness, death of a loved one. These are less frequent……..but we all face them. Furthermore, our disasters are no worse than what Mary faced.

So……when, disaster strikes, the key to dealing with it?

Don’t dwell on the “possible” outcomes.

Remember, that you have been promised the “impossible”.

That promise comes from a creator who loves you and who has your back………all day……..every day.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God, NIV