We give gifts to one another…….at least most of us do.

Sometimes they are a big deal……. other times, they are almost an afterthought. So, how do you tell the difference between a big important gift and a small inconsequential gift? This is a matter of small importance when you are the giver. It is, however, critical when you are the receiver.

Recently, I bought a new hand saw. It replaced an old saw that was rusty and dull. The old saw still had a few years in it and it was a very convenient size. But, I was going to throw the old saw away…….instead, I gave it to my middle son. This is a good example of an inconsequential gift. It cost me nothing.

My oldest son was poor. For him to have more than a buck or two in his wallet was unusual. And yet, many times, I have watched him order a cup of coffee in a restaurant and leave a $2 tip. My youngest son suffered from a terrible debilitating neuropathy. Every step he took caused him excruciating pain. And yet, he went to work to support his family. The 100 yard daily walk to his office cost him a great deal. My middle son has a severe spinal cord injury. He could easily qualify as disabled, but he works hard to support his family. These gifts are huge. They are gifts of great consequence.

What is the difference?

The difference is the cost of the gift to the giver relative to what the giver has. In most cases, I am not talking so much about the cost in dollars…….but rather, about the personal cost…….in time, effort, thought……..and even in pain. These costs and the resultant value of the gift are clearly evident to the giver. They can be much less evident to the receiver. In fact, these costs are often ignored by the receiver. The result is that the receiver grossly underestimates the true value of the gift.

I have many times seen someone give a gift that cost them a great deal in terms of time, effort, thought and even pain…….and watched the receiver fail to appreciate the true value of the gift. This is heartbreaking……..and it is wrong.

It is quite possible to receive a gift of great value that has little or no dollar value. I would go further. The greatest gifts that you will ever receive typically have no cash value. The watercolors that my granddaughters give me are such gifts.

So…… what’s the point?

When I look at the gifts that I have been given……..I need to accurately assign them a value. Because, that value should dictate my response to the giver. That value must count the true cost of the gift…….to the giver…….and I don’t mean its value in a resale shop.

The most valuable gift that I have ever been given?

Paradise.

It is the most valuable, because of it’s true cost to the giver…….the torture, and murder, and death of the son of God, the creator of the universe.

I doubt that a lot of us accurately value that gift. If we did, we wouldn’t behave the way that we do. If you need help, watch Mel Gibson’s movie “The Passion of the Christ”.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts.  But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

Jesus, NIV

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Jesus,NIV

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Paul, NIV

At the end of my life……….I will look back.

I know that I will see things that I will regret. But I will also see things that will make me smile. I am much closer to the end of my life than to the beginning………that is likely the source of this post.

When we think about dying, I think that we often focus on judgement. Far too many Christians teach a brand of faith that focuses on death as a time when we are confronted by an angry God…….and we have to explain it all……..every last mis-step. We see the transition between this world and the world to come as a time when we have to answer for our misdeeds………and no doubt that will be an element of it.

But……..for the Christian…….for those who have accepted Jesus and his blanket of forgiveness, I think that this will be very brief……… the blink of an eye. We will not sit around dwelling on our mistakes. There will be no cosmic tongue lashing. The fact is, our misdeeds will be quickly and permanently erased from God’s memory……….and if they are erased from God’s memory, I believe that they will also be erased from our memory as well. The sadness and the guilt that we have been dragging around because of the mistakes that we have made……..will be gone. We will go through eternity without regrets.

Hard to imagine, isn’t it?……..a world completely free from guilt and regrets. I will remember the gifts and kindness that I have given my family and those around me. The anger and pain that I have spread……..will just be gone. My death will be the death of my regrets……….my joy and love will live on. As I consider it………that may very well be one of the best features of paradise.

This even goes one step further. The people that I have lost……my two sons………both Christians……..are living a life of joy and love…….. completely free from guilt and regret……right now.

I cannot change what I’ve done…….but I can try to balance the scales a bit.

So I will ask a question as I move forward:

“Will this choice make me smile………when I finally look back?”

Even more important

“Will this choice make Jesus smile………when he and I look back together?”

“This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds .” Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”

Jesus, NIV

“For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

David, NIV

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away .

John, NIV

A major league ball player’s batting average is the number of times he gets on base divided by the number of times he goes to bat. It is a measure of his success as a hitter. About one in three (.300) is considered very good.

When we pray, we praise God, we ask for forgiveness, and we ask him to do things. Today I want to look at how often God does what we ask him to. In a way, I want to look at God’s “batting average”. If I look back at my prayers throughout my life, the number of times God has fulfilled a prayer is surprising. But, there have also been times when I prayed very hard for something very important……..and God just sat there. I am certain that a great many people have abandoned God over an unanswered prayer.

A parent with a very sick child prays long and hard for healing……and the child dies. The parent says something to the effect of:

“God! Where were you when I needed you? Why did you abandon me? Why did you ignore me and allow this to happen? If I can’t count on you……..then I’m done with you. I’m out of here!”

There can be no doubt that God does not give us everything that we ask him for. But, what does that mean? Does it mean that God didn’t hear? That he didn’t care? That he doesn’t even exist?

As in many things, the situation is not that simple.

Imagine that you are a parent and your 6 year old is watching TV with a bowl of popcorn in his lap. It’s 9 pm. You say, “Bedtime!…..brush your teeth and hit the sack.” He utters his standard bedtime “prayer”…….”please, please, please, let me stay up…… I’ll sit here quietly, eat my popcorn, watch the rest of my show…….and I’ll just sleep on the couch”.

And his fervent “prayer” goes unanswered. At best, he is disappointed…….at worst, he is angry.

I have always found that my relationship with God is identical to a child’s relationship with his parents. By studying my relationship with my parents, I can better understand my relationship with God.

So……back to the unanswered prayer.

We all know what an unanswered prayer looks like from our side…….the side of the child. But, what does it look like from God’s side…..the side of the parent?

Here is what I believe:

God is there.
God hears your prayer.
God loves you with a love far greater than even your mother.
God looks out for your best interests……..over the long run.

So…..

God will fulfill your prayer……. if it serves your best interests…….and his………..in the long run………from his eternal perspective.

If God is silent. If he doesn’t fulfill your prayer. It is because he has another plan for you……..a better plan.

This is hard. It calls for patience. It calls for trust. It requires us to love God……..the same way he loves us.

I have had three sons. Two of them died as young men……just as their families were getting started. I don’t need to go into the pain that this caused. Shortly before they died, they both accepted Jesus.

From my perspective, the viewpoint of a child, their deaths were the greatest tragedies of my life. It would be very easy to be angry. It would be very easy to lash out at God……for letting me down when I needed him most.

But, from God’s parental perspective, this was a win…..both for him and for me. I will spend eternity with my sons…….in paradise.

From my side, God’s “batting average” doesn’t look so hot. But, from his side, it’s a different story.

I will trust God to manage my future……. understanding that his perspective……..his plan…….is much bigger than mine…….much better than mine.

I will trust that God will look after my interests better than I can.

Why?

Because he loves me……with a parental love that I cannot come close to understanding.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

God, NIV

It’s a new year……but I am still the same old guy.

I have the same old strengths……….and the same old weaknesses. I want to be better, but my track record says that by March I will probably be in about the same spot I was in this time last year.

What to do?

This is a time of year for fresh starts, resolutions. We all come up with a list of things that we are going to do……. lose weight, stop smoking, exercise, etc. Usually this is a list of things that we have failed at for many Januaries in the past. Why do we think that this year will be any better?…….that we will be any better?

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” 

Einstein

Maybe we need to try a different tack.

Maybe we need to start with baby steps. Instead of taking on something big……..and difficult, maybe we should try something easy and small. This is not taking the coward’s way out. I would propose that a small success is better than a truly grand failure. And I have had my share of grand failures in Januaries gone by.

Easy and small.

I think that the easiest thing to tackle would be something that is built into our nature. The easiest new years resolution would be to find something that is central to our nature……..but that we have neglected.

I think that the smallest thing to tackle would be to change one thing for one day……..today.

Easy and small

So……tackle something easy and small. Do one thing that is easy because it is central to our nature……..one thing that is “hard wired” into our heart……..and do it one time……today.

And the first and most important thing that is hard wired into us…….is love.

So……..

My resolution this year?

I will perform one small act of kindness today.

I’m not going to worry about tomorrow’s act of kindness…….not until I get there.

Years ago, one of my sons made a suggestion. “Follow the wisdom on the shampoo bottle”……….”Lather, Rinse, Repeat”……good counsel…….for tomorrow.

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

Paul, NIV

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me .’

Matthew, NIV