It’s a simple question.

We return to it many times a day…….but we rarely give it much thought. The traffic light is green…….we trust that the driver on the side street will stop. We drop our child off at school……..we trust that the staff will not only teach her……..but protect her as well. These everyday acts of trust work pretty well for the most part.

There are bigger issues though.

Death
Life….. Where does it come from….. When does it begin?
Eternity
Sex……..male, female, trans, bi, LGBTQ, marriage
Freedom ……….and its limits
Rights………what we are entitled to
Family
Our neighbors and the social contract

We navigate these issues by relying on a set of norms……. for lack of a better word……rules. Our American society places great value on individualism. We encourage everyone to be their own person. Many societies, especially in the Orient place much less value on individualism. It should come as no surprise then that we each develop our own set of rules. It is rare to find two Americans who operate on exactly the same set of rules. Our biggest public fights arise because of these different sets of rules.

This post is about how we develop the set of rules that we run our life by. This internal set of rules deserves some examination……..because it colors everything that we do.

Here are a few general principles.

The fact that somebody else uses a different rule than mine does not necessarily make them evil. There is some room for honest disagreement.

Some people use a set of rules that is so disruptive that they cannot be allowed in society………and we put them in cages. There is an absolute limit to what we can do in a society.

At the heart of how we develop our set of rules is the simple question………”who do you trust”? In other words whose rules do we adopt? Here are some popular options. You can choose one…….or more than one.

Myself
God…… The Bible
The Republican party
The Democratic party
My parents
My friends
The taking heads on Fox/CNN, etc.
My smart phone

I’m sure that you get the drift here. Some sources of rules can be trusted more than others. But here’s the rub……every one on this list has an agenda. They are all trying to influence you. They are all trying to send you specifically…….and society in general……somewhere.

The starting point is myself…….who is better equipped to set up my rules than me? The problem is that I am often dishonest…..and so are you. When was the last time that you talked yourself into doing something that was ultimately self destructive…….or harmful to a neighbor. We call it rationalization……..and we do it every day…..the rolling stop…….the phone call that you ignore……the sales tax on that internet purchase that you don’t report. And if you think your set of rules is bad…….just look at the other guy. In Kentucky, 90% of the people using handicapped parking have no meaningful handicap.

Then there are the politicians. They have a vision for society and they use hate to divide us in order to achieve a “more perfect union”. It’s crazy but the number of people who blindly follow their party and demonize the other party is amazing.

The talking heads are no better. They are pretty much mouthpieces for their party.

My friends are very much like me…….they will support just about anything I want to do. That’s why I chose them.

And then there is the biggest liar on the list……..and it’s in your hand right now.

My parents are a pretty good choice. With a few exceptions, their primary goal is my success and my happiness. They will make mistakes, but with a few rare exceptions, their heart is in the right place. Teens and young adults ……..read this paragraph again!

Finally……… God and his “owners manual”….. The Bible.
God’s motivation is pure. He wants a relationship with you. He wants long term…… eternal…….success and joy for you. The norms…….the rules in the Bible are there for only one reason…….to lead you to achieve long term love and joy.

So my answer to the question “who should you trust?”

God.

“Take all that you can of this book upon reason, and the balance on faith, and you will live and die a happier man. “(When a skeptic expressed surprise to see him reading a Bible)

Lincoln

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Solomon, NIV

As a part of my morning meditation, I try to clear my mind.

I pray…….”here I am Lord”…… then I listen.

In a way, I am standing before God…….. waiting for a word……. wisdom, instruction, maybe even a command. Sometimes I hear nothing……. sometimes an idea pops into my head. Many of these ideas end up in this blog. I’m not saying that they came from God…….or even that they are correct……. though I try to follow him. These ideas are not really even the point of today’s post……… rather, today I’m focusing on how it feels……….how it feels when you try to approach God.

So………..What do I feel when I stand before God?

Love
Respect
Safety
Hope
Fear
Weakness
Thankfulness
Humility
Gratitude
Flawed
Undeserving

These are the emotions that I begin my day with today.

I spent many years ignoring God. I don’t believe I ever denied him……..I just pushed him off into a corner where I could keep a lid on him……..keep him from causing me any trouble.

Functionally, I was living life as a secular humanist. If I can reconstruct how I felt as a secular humanist it would look like this.

Powerful
In control
Smart
Competent
Skilled
Better than my fellow man
Deserving
Righteous
Entitled

As I look at these two lists, the second one is in many ways more appealing……….it certainly sounds like more fun. I can see the appeal of secular humanism.

As a secular humanist, the key feature in my life was this:

I got to do whatever I wanted. Whatever I said was right……was right. When you live your life on list 2, nobody gets to tell you anything.

I was smart and successful……… usually, when I did what I wanted, it turned out well…….. sometimes, not so much. I remember bring proud of myself and of my achievements. What I don’t remember is being happy. In fact I was lonely. I don’t remember being satisfied. In fact, the more I got………the more I achieved……….the more I wanted. The harder I pursued my appetites, the more my appetites grew. The list of things that I wanted stretched on forever……….there was no endpoint.

Somewhere along the way, I let God out of the corner. Slowly over the years, I moved from list 2 to list 1. On the surface, it looks like a step backwards. But here’s the trick……..I am happier and more satisfied now. My world now involves an endpoint, God, that is close……..and more important…….it is attainable. This is a big improvement over the endless series of acquisitions and achievements that I chased for years…….the string of desires and appetites that went on forever as far as the eye could see.

Why does list 1…….which looks weak…….beat list 2……..which looks like fun?

I think it is because it is true. I am happy and satisfied because I am living my life in the place that I was meant for. My destination, God, is close and achievable because it is correct.

Given the choice between a 66 Camaro (near the top of my list of appetites) and satisfaction…….I choose satisfaction. If I had chosen the Camaro, I’d probably want new upholstery anyway.

“for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”

David, NIV

We spend most of our lives working…….whether at our job or at home……… whether we get paid or not.

For the most part we have a goal…….or goals……..things that we are working toward. Our goals reflect what we want…….our appetites. We spend most of our lives pursuing these appetites……..and yet we give little effort to examining them…….to assessing their quality.

So the challenge this week is to fearlessly examine the appetites that drive us; because, the pursuit of these appetites leads to the greatest triumphs in our lives……..and to the greatest disasters.

I’ll start with a list of appetites………things that people pursue.
Some of them will be very familiar. Others may make you uncomfortable.

Money
Security
Status/fame
Love/relationship
Friendship
Sex
Power
Respect
God
Truth
Empire(building something big)
Helping others
Luxury(food, clothing, entertainment)
Addictions
Revenge (aka justice)

These are some of the common appetites……..you can probably add to the list. The idea here is to honestly and fearlessly list the three appetites that usually drive you. Then put them in order. The value of this exercise will hinge on how honest you are with yourself. Take a minute and write them down on a piece of paper right now.

We all know what we are supposed to pursue……like “world peace”. We also know that our list of appetites is different.

I’m a Christian. The Bible tells me that my #1 appetite should be God. But, unfortunately, the truth is different.

So………here is my list……..in order.

Security
Respect
Truth

God and love didn’t even make the top three. Don’t get me wrong……..these three appetites of mine are noble. I have pursued them for 60 years with some success. I also suspect that some of my greatest failures are rooted in that list……..and I think I’ll pass on listing my failures……..though my family can probably produce a comprehensive account.

The key thing here is that my list of appetites is not carved in stone………although after 60 years, flexibility may not be my strong suit. I can change my appetites……..if I am willing to make the necessary sacrifices.

So the next part of the exercise is to make a list of three new appetites that you can pursue………maybe better appetites than those on your first list. Again, write them down.

My list of better appetites?

God
Love
Helping others

If your new list is the same as your first list, congratulations………..you are a truly rare human.

And I’m sorry, Miss America………”world peace” will have to wait.

It’s probably not feasible for me to throw out my 60 year old list……or for you to throw out yours for that matter. But, maybe I can add one appetite from my new list to my old list.

Security
Respect
Truth
God

I can work on the order later.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Jesus, NIV

I have never been a social butterfly.

I talk to people, I can tell funny stories. I can teach. I can help others out. But, I never have been very good at developing deep, close personal relationships with others. I tell myself that I’m a little shy……..probably true. But, there is likely more to it than that.

We go through life accumulating stuff. I’m now in my sixties and when I talk to those around me, I keep hearing a lot about “downsizing”……..about getting rid of stuff. Then I look around my house and my shop and I can see that the amount of stuff is staggering. It’s great stuff and I enjoy it a lot. There is great pleasure in using a beautiful crafted tool or in shooting a finely built gun. But, the stuff just doesn’t seem to satisfy me. Entertains me…….. maybe…….but satisfies me? ……..not so much.

I have recently lost an important relationship. The why behind it is not important. This failed relationship has led me to reflect on the value of relationships in my life……..in all of our lives. I have to conclude that accumulating people is far more important than accumulating stuff. It is also far more difficult. The current “information age” has made this much worse. My closest relationship is with my wife……….but my cell phone is a close second. I wonder where my grandchildren will wind up.

Then I consider God…….the most powerful force in the universe. God is a creator…….THE creator. Stuff is no problem for him. If he wants something, he can simply create it. 66 Supersport Camaro……..with a really loud throaty exhaust……..0 to 60 in 8 seconds……..no problem! But, when you read the Bible, God doesn’t seem interested in the Camaro………or any other kind of stuff. Repeatedly, he says that what he wants is relationship………with you and with me. He wants the kind of deep intimate personal relationship that seems to escape me……….and maybe you too.

So……..God gives us the gift of loneliness.

Sounds odd, but loneliness is the feeling that drives us into relationship. Loneliness is the force that makes us reach out beyond ourselves………beyond our stuff……….. beyond our cell phones to connect with others………others who are just as lonely as we are.

Most of the fundamental feelings in our heart are a pale reflection of God’s heart. We are, after all, created in his image. Do you ever wonder if God feels something similar to loneliness………a desire for relationship……..with you? Maybe that is what drove him to create this universe. Maybe that is why he is willing to forgive our misdeeds. What if God’s driving motivation in all of his vast creation is to be my friend………to be your friend?

I hope that this is true. My hope is that one day I will encounter Jesus, not as an equal, but as a friend.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends,

Jesus, NIV