I was recently in a hotel. A man walked up to the front desk. He was extremely angry because the free breakfast that he had received was not what he had expected. He berated the clerk, dropping the “f” bomb repeatedly then became verbally abusive to others in the room. His wife stood by and said nothing. I got the sense that this was a fairly routine performance for her husband. He was pretty much the poster child for anger. He was not a happy camper.

I began to consider anger and how it affects us in living the life that we want to live.

So, look at the list below. Pick one thing from the list. Pick the thing you want the most…the thing that you would give up all of the others to achieve.

Wealth
Health
Power
Happiness
Respect
Love

I bet most people would choose happiness. Everything else on the list is a stepping stone toward happiness, but not a destination in itself. To look at it another way, what good is wealth, health, power, respect, or even love……..if it leads to unhappiness?

I often tell people that I have the most valuable skill set on the planet……..I have learned how to be happy. And yet, there are a great many people who are not happy. Being happy, it turns out, is not a common skill. Why?

Here is another list:

Anger
Jealousy
Vengeance
Greed
Laziness
Lust

These are things that we actively choose to do that lead us away from happiness. I would go so far as to say that the things on this list are incompatible with happiness. And yet, for the most part, they are things that we make a conscious decision to pursue. In effect, by choosing to pursue the things on this list, we are making a concious decision to be unhappy. The guy in the hotel that morning made a concious decision to be angry and the result was that he became unhappy. I can’t be sure, but I bet he is often unhappy.

Are there better choices that we can make…….choices that will lead us to happiness?

Here is the final list:

Kindness
Generosity
Love
Truth
Faith
Hope

Here is a list of things that we can choose to pursue that will lead to happiness. I am convinced that the surest road to happiness in this life is to love and actively care for your fellow man. And the converse is also true……….the surest road to unhappiness is anger.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you”

St. Paul, NIV

So…… what do I do when somebody attacks me or treats me badly? My first job is to protect myself and the best tool for protecting myself from angry people is distance. This includes angry bosses. After I put some distance between me and my attacker, then I should consider that my attacker must, almost by definition, be unhappy. It’s hard to do……..but there is room in my heart for a little sympathy for people who habitually make bad choices that cause them (and the people around them) to be unhappy.

What do you do when you find that you are angry……that you are hanging out on list #1? Just remember……….every minute of your life that you choose to be angry is a minute of happiness that you have intentionally thrown away………and you can never get that minute back.

It’s hard to beat St. Paul’s advice.

Think of words that you might use to describe God.

Big, strong, just, angry, fierce, friend, father, avenger, protector, redeemer/saviour, punisher, creator, teacher, destroyer, guide, rescuer, distant, absent, judgemental.

In the Bible, God shows us a lot of faces. Many of them are quite different from one another. Each face shows us a different facet of God’s “personality”.

I think that how we react to God, how we relate to him, is deeply colored by the face of God that we see most often…..the vision of God that we carry with us every day.

If the face of God that you carry with you every day is an angry, fierce, distant, judgemental, absent, punisher……. then it is not hard to understand why you would not seek him out. It is easy to see why you would distance yourself from him. This is the face of God that Dawkins sees in his book “The God Delusion”.

Many people find this vision of God so disturbing that they go one step further. They either ignore him completely……or they deny his existence.

On the other hand, if the face of God that you keep in front of you is a friend, protector, teacher, guide, rescuer…….a loving father, Abba, then I would expect you to pursue him.

This dichotomy, I think, is at the heart of the division of our culture into primarily secular and primarily religious camps. It is why these two groups have such a hard time even talking about God. They choose such different “faces” of God that it is almost as though they are talking about different Gods.

So….. which of these faces of God is the truth? You probably have already guessed…….it is not as simple as it seems. Each of the descriptions in the second paragraph has roots in the Bible. Each of these descriptions of God has some truth in it. How do we sort through them? More importantly, how do we use them to guide our actions………our thoughts……our lives?

What we are talking about here is relationship and what that relationship looks like from our side. I believe that relationship is the primary driving goal of our lives. It is the thing that we value the most. It is the thing that is the main determinant of whether we are happy or sad. I believe that the desire for relationship is at the center of our lives. It is “written on our hearts”. It was put there by our creator for our use……and for his. How we act on our need for relationship is the main thing that will determine the success or failure of our lives.

The most powerful relationship in our lives is the parent/child relationship. From the child’s side……..dependence, respect, honor, love, obedience, service, even worship. From the parent’s side…….love, self sacrifice, teaching, nurturing, protecting, promoting, and if necessary dying for your child. The fact that the parent/child relationship looks just like the human/God relationship is no accident. I believe that this incredibly strong instinctive relationship was built in to us by our creator. So……if you want to understand your relationship with God…….look at your relationship with your parents and your children. Some parents and some children do not do this well so you may have to look around a bit.

So…..what does this have to do with the “face” of God that we carry around with us?

If the face of God that we carry with us shapes our relationship with God…….then we had better choose our “face of God” carefully. If you want your relationship with God to be angry, confrontational, judgmental…….if you want to push God off into some remote corner of your life where he won’t cause you any trouble……focus on the face of God that Dawkins chose in his book. If, on the other hand, you want a joyful, peaceful, successful, loving parent/child relationship with your father, your creator, choose the “face” of Jesus……gentle, loving, forgiving, self sacrificing…….the face of God that wants success and happiness for you……over the long haul.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God, NIV

In a way, you are choosing whether you want to be joyous or angry……..because, like it or not, you can’t be both.

As I watch the world…….and the people around me. I see a lot of conflict and misunderstanding around the topic of religion. This comes from a lot of different sources and I can’t deal with them all here. I believe that a lot of this conflict stems from a misunderstanding……. either intentional or not…….. of our relationship with God.

I once saw an interview with Robert Deniro. Somebody asked him if he believed in God. He said something like “I don’t know….but I’ll tell you this……he’s got some explaining to do”. This was probably just a snappy “throw away line” and may not reflect Mr. Dinero’s theology. But, it does reflect the way that many people see their relationship with God. A lot of us act as though we get to approve or disapprove of God and what he is up to. We act as though we have a veto over God’s rules and over his plans. We act as though he needs our clearance before he acts. In a word, we act as though we are a higher authority than God.

We give him a daily “to do list”……we accept the things that he does that we like and toss out anything that he does that goes against what we want.

You will hear lines like, “I can’t accept a God who would let my child die”. Or….”I don’t believe in hell”. Or you talk to otherwise solid Christians who pick through the Bible……they accept what appeals to them……and they discard anything that they don’t like……anything that restricts their behavior………anything that goes against their political party (left or right).

I think that understanding our relationship with God may help us to better fit into our place in the cosmos. It might even bring us some inner peace as well.

So how do I stack up against God?

He is big……I am small.

He knows everything…….I know a little.

He loves everyone all of the time….l love some people some of the time.

He operates on an eternal time frame…… I’m limited to 80 or 90 years (I hope!).

He created me……..I create furniture.

He desires joy for all of us…….I often desire pain for those who harm my family and friends.

He can and will forgive just about anything (if you only ask)……I can forgive small things some of the time.

He is perfectly just and cannot be approached by evil…….I am fairly comfortable functioning in a world that is full of evil.

He always does what is right……….I often do what is wrong.

In short…….God is ultimate love, power, knowledge, justice, righteousness, and mercy. He is eternal. I fall short in every one of these areas.

In light of that, here are some guidelines that I try to follow when I read the Bible……..pray……..or react to God and the things that he is up to.

God is vastly superior to you and me……be humble.

God has a good plan………don’t critisize or second guess him.

God loves you……..trust him in the good times and in the bad.

God is eternal……be patient…. he will “fix” things in his good time; but, on his terms……not necessarily on your terms.

God is merciful…..when you fail, get up, brush yourself off, say I’m sorry, and move on.

God is generous…….he has something fabulous waiting for his people…..waiting for you……..be happy.

I am a smart and capable guy. By many measures I have had a “successful” life and a “successful” career. But, when I approach God……if I am being honest…….I approach him as a weak, naked, ignorant child who will die very soon.

Humility not hubris.

3 different approaches to managing the world

Republicans:

Lower taxes
Small federal government
Strong army
Secure border, limits on immigration
No abortion
Right to own guns
Strict original interpretation of the constitution
Limited entitlements
Protect the environment when financially feasible
Against recreational drugs
Sex in marriage is between one man and one woman
Nationalist (America first)
More business friendly

Democrats:

Higher taxes
More expansive federal government
More open borders, few restrictions on immigration
Right to choose
Gun control
Flexible interpretation of the constitution
Generous entitlements
Protect the environment even if it is costly
Legalize marijuana
Sympathetic to LGBT
World government
Less business friendly

Christianity:

Love God
Love your fellow man
Help the poor, the prisoner, widows, orphans, and children
Treat the “soujourner” (visitor, transient, alien) well
Give 10% to the Church
Spread the good news (sell paradise)
Be kind……even to those who attack you
Be honest in what you say and do.
Do not be sexually promiscuous
Do not envy others
Take the day off on Sunday
Take care of the planet and everything on it.
Obey the law and pay your taxes
Avoid intoxication

Each of these approaches does many good things. Each of them is in conflict with the other two.

We need to choose. But, unlike the angry talking heads on TV…..unlike the politicians on the extreme left and right……. it is not “pick one side and destroy the others”.

Rather, I think that we need to prioritize these three approaches. In other words…….what are you…….first and foremost? Christian…….Democrat…….Republican. Look at the three lists and ask yourself which list best matches the world that you want to live in…….and the person whom you want to be. When you get involved in an argument about the things on the three lists………which list do you defend………which list(s) do you attack?

As for me……I want to be a Christian first……..and only after that……a Republican or Democrat. When a politician tries to sell me an idea, I want to measure it against list #3 first. Only after that should I consider lists #1 and #2. Far too many of us use only list #1 or list #2. Far too many of us get angry with others because they choose a different list.

I would love to see a third political party.

Imagine a voting booth where you can vote for individual candidates……….or vote the “straight ticket”.

Which “ticket” would you choose?

Republican. □

Democrat. □

Christian. □

So…….first and foremost……..what are you?

I believe that there are fundamental…..foundational truths in life. These are universal……they do not change……..they are eternal. Knowing them is the key to happiness. Violating them causes us pain.

These truths are so critical that they are “written on our hearts”…..we were born with them………they were put there by our creator to guide us. If you cast aside your desires, your politics, your emotions, your physical wants and needs………if you strip away everything that our culture, your computer and your TV tell you and carefully search your heart you will find these truths. It should be no surprise that the greatest truths in life are built into us……programmed into us.

In our busy lives, these universal truths often get buried beneath layers of ideas that our culture feeds us. The ideas that the culture sells us may very well have some truth in them. They are certainly pounded into us every day by an endless stream of politicians and other “talking heads”…….but, they are not universal……. and they are not eternal. The ideas that the culture feeds us are like a fashion that comes and goes. In a word, the moral framework that our culture accepts…..the rules that our society insists that we follow……are constantly changing. No wonder we have trouble keeping up……no wonder we get into fights over which rules to follow. Every day we get beat up because someone says that we should follow the latest rule instead of following the rule that was “fashionable” last year.

In my search for peace, I have tried to seek out the foundational truths of life…….and I doubt that I have been completely successful. But, here it is………my list of universal truths:

There is something………a form of existence……after physical death. In a word, there is an element of spiritual immortality in each of us.

We are driven by love…..the need to be loved and even more so, the need to love others. The love of a parent for his/her child is the purest earthly example of this love.

Pure good exists. There is some good in all of us. But there is also a reservoir of pure good that is external to us.

Evil exists. It is everywhere around us…….it also lives inside all of us……..it lives inside me. But, there is also an external reservoir of evil.

The good that we do……..and the bad that we do……… will return to us…….either before……or after we die. We have an abiding trust that there will be justice……..in the end.

We know that on the spectrum from good to evil, we are somewhere in the middle. We want to be good…..we want to avoid evil……..but we just cannot get all of the way there. In a word….we know that we are flawed. We need outside help.

We have a drive to promote ourselves as well as a need to help others.

So…..there they are……..the fundamental truths that are built into all of us. We often ignore them. Sometimes we run from them. But…….. if we search deep in our hearts……..we know that they are real…….that they are true.

Life….death….immortality…..love……good…….evil…….justice….failure

In the Bible, we see these ideas codified.

Creation…….death……..paradise……..love………God…..Satan……judgement……mercy

This is why the Bible is the most enduring piece of literature in the history of man. It touches on the fundamental truths that we sense deep in our hearts. It gives us a moral compass that is stable……..one that just works better than the current…… and transient …….moral fashion of our culture.

That is why I trust the Bible. That is why I use it as my moral code.